PhasmaGORE's art Reviews on Newgrounds

[Deoxys Commission]

He can't drink :(

(Silly piece but I wish this was in color!)

Br-x-ton responds:

Thanks! The commissioner only paid for lineart, sadly. I may go back and color it since it'd be easy to color and shade.

[My upstairs neighbor]

Augh! Cliffhanger ending! This is really good buildup of the story! I am so curious as to what will happen next. The readability and designs are on point. I feel that the comic itself could use some stronger pure black values here and there as a suggestion. The fact that the comic is in b&w means that the last pages can have a little bit of wiggle room for interpretation as to what will happen next!

3eep responds:

Thanks for the feedback! I'm glad you enjoyed the story ^^ and yeah! it's supposed to be an open ending, I personally am a fan of those kind of endings haha

[🌱RISER🏵️]

Interesting comic! I like the use of color at the end and the design of Maceta himself. The story, from what I gather, is about Maceta's journey with the white flower to the surface world. This creates interesting visuals in BOTH B&W and color! I also like that you used minimal dialogue and instead communicate visually. Pages 10-11 and the last two pages were your strongest pages!

That said, I feel like the lack of readability in some pages does hurt the story. I feel like a lot of what is happening visually is hard to follow. On page 5 for example, I can understand the top half of the page (Maceta hiding in his pot and the flower illuminating the inside) but after that, I don't know who is talking or what is happening. This happens for a lot of the comic (pages 5-9) and I think I have a solution.

Whenever you do make your next comic I think you should limit yourself to fewer panels per page because I think having too many created a lot of clutter. And I think you should try doing more comics because I would love to see more adventures like this! I think your art lends itself to comics but can look a bit chaotic when a lot of action happens on one page. Either way, I really want to see you improve PAM!!!

P-PAMda responds:

WOKE UP TO PHASMA LONG COMMENT AAAAAAAAAA <3

Thanks you so much for the critique, I really need them since I REALLY want to keep doing my own webcomic and doing them in general aaa

I feel like the 16 pages thing made my brain be like "cram all in there!!!" Since I wanted to tell a lot in little page. And you can see how it happened haha, lot of cluster and mess and lack of readibility. Tried to chew more than I could handle when this is my only first long comic.
I'm taking notes on what you're commenting and will reread this when working on my next! I'll try to pace things better and give things a better breather, so they're more understandable. In the end that's one of the most important things on a comic, that you can understand what's going on!

Thanks you so much for specificating the pages and taking the time on critiquing so I can take a better look at this later <3 AND for the encouragement words too AAA, I'm glad that you still liked things from the comic makes me real happy. I'll do my best so everyone can experience what goes through my messy brain better >:')

[Glacialbound EP. 1 - Winter Lane]

This is a fun entry! In the 16 pages you have, the first couple of pages feel like there is already some mystery just hidden in plain sight, the fact that the bounty board is called the Lazarus board, that name hidden on the second page, and what happened to all those hunters!?

So far, the dynamic of these two is nice and the colors really pop! I also love the design of that merged Gorbo monster. Of the few critiques I have, I think you should use some wider shots, and establishing shots that show us the grandeur of the settings. The only other critique I have is how cluttered a lot of your pages feel, from the SFX, speech bubbles and overall detail lead to a lot of visual clutter with no place for my eyes to rest.

Though it can't be said enough that despite some things to tweak, readability and charm are very much present in your comic, and look forward to more!

Saverpengu responds:

I’m glad you enjoyed it! Readability being good is especially nice to know.

I see what you mean with the sfx for sure. This type of critique/feedback is exactly what I like to see, so I’ll definitely work on it going forward!

[Towers - Sweet Sixteen Comic Contest]

This was such a trippy read! Admittedly some of the poetics go over my head, that last verse is so striking and paired with the last visual leaves such a strong impact! I really dig this entry!

SounDoG-2031 responds:

I'm very happy to hear that! Indeed, I wanted to end the comic on a strong note and get the message across as best I could.

I also intentionally leaned towards more ambiguous/abstract storytelling, but I do hope that in the end it made at least a bit of sense. But I understand if not... writing stories is well outside my comfort zone, but I'm trying to get the hang of it. It's so much fun!

[(COMIC) BIRD OF PREY - PROLOGUE PART 1]

Oooh, this is an interesting prologue! I like the mystery of the number! And that mystery character that busts in at the end!! And don't worry, you're not the only one who is revamping their old content! (coughcoughCorvid Kid)

I felt that the only thing that was a bit lacking was the design of the main character Kare. I found that in some scenes I mistook him for a background character. Unless that is intentional, then don't mind me.

Tamag0 responds:

ty ty!! im excited for corvid kid too!!!!

yes, kare does look a bit plain but it is intentional ;) he'll change into his Main Character Look after the prologue!!

[Eye of the Lamb]

Oh my GOD I LOVED THIS PART!!! I loved the compositioning and the way you animated the water and how fluid and violent you characterized the movements. Solid work man! Also I love the Samson short design lol

itsabluebanana responds:

Thank you for the compliment (and reminding me to post the outfit designs that I did haha)

[Sand Castles]

I love this painterly styled pic! As someone who tries to emulate this style a lot I can appreciate just how well you nailed the texture and colors. If I had any criticism towards this piece, it would be that the image feels a bit small, and as a result some details get lost. Though I know it was formatted this way for a reason.

Either way I love it!!

Also:
HIM!!

KEKIIRO responds:

AAAAAA thank you ;^;

i do need to paint in larger canvases tbh, i can just size it down when it needs to be. I'll practice it more.

[Meteor Spike!]

This is really nice! I like the composition of that last shot of this loop. Zeon's dead expression as he watches from the second shot kills me.

itsabluebanana responds:

Appreciate the compliment on the last shot! Animating each character's reaction to the volleyball was the most fun part of working on that shot.